wood detective (cromulent) wrote,
wood detective

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I have a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names

I love the bit where Bruce is crying about Rachel's death and he's all, "Oh, Alfred, she would have come back to me!" If I had been Alfred, I would have been like, "BITCH PLEASE!" Bruce looked ready to fuck Harvey himself when he crashed their date at that restaurant. My note to Bruce would have been more like, so, um, you're nice and all, but have you seen Harvey's hair? It's gorgeous. Sorry, can't marry you! See the real tragedy of the movie isn't that Harvey kills a bunch of people, it's that his face ends up being only half-pretty. It's quite tragic really. I'm guessing the people of Gotham are vaguely shallow and maybe only voted for him because he's good-looking.

I LOVED the sociological experiment because it really was brilliant. Go Sociology! I think it would be neat to actually do an experiment like that in a lab setting. Obviously, the fact that no one would actually die in a lab setting would maybe affect the results of whether people are willing to kill another group of people, but I'm sure someone could come up with something.

That whole "we need Batman, but we don't deserve him and we deserve cake but we're collectively on a diet and we don't need it and Aaron Eckhart needs to be in the next movie and blah, blah, blah" at the end was kind of lame. I didn't mind the speechifying itself, because I like Gary Oldman making serious speeches, just, like, I don't want to be contemplating the different meanings of the words deserve and need at the end of a movie. This ain't no English class, Christopher Nolan!

I adore The Dark Knight if you can't tell. I've already seen it multiple times and if I had more people to go with, I'd see it a million more times. I mentioned before that my cousin is out in L.A. interning for David Goyer and I didn't want to be annoying and ask him to bring me back free swag, but that was before I saw the movie. Now I want to email him and be like, "If you have access to anything, I would love some free shit."

This Daily Show interview with Aaron Eckhart is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I've watched it far too many times. So how about a gigantic Aaron Eckhart picspam (literally gigantic, all these pictures are huge and there a ton of them)? I'm supposed to be writing a legal memo for class, but that's not going too well, so I'll do this in legal memorandum format and pretend like I've made progress on my actual work. You should appreciate my inane efforts to make my picspams more interesting.


To: The world
From: Me
Re: Aaron Eckhart
Date: July 29, 2008


Is Aaron Eckhart hot?

Brief Answer

Yes. Duh.

Statement of Facts

Aaron Eckhart was in The Dark Knight. I also enjoyed him in Conversations With Other Women which totally made me cry because it was so sweet and sad. He's really hot. Also he's a nice Mormon. I feel like any future entries I make about him will end AARON ECKHART: NICE MORMON or something. I'm seriously not making fun of him in the slightest; I sometimes really like when people claim to be religious even though I myself like reading books about atheism and why religion is bad (I highly recommend The God Delusion). I'm generally hypocritical when it comes to hot people. Or when it's something adorable like Stephen Colbert teaching Sunday School classes. As long as he makes fucked-up movies like In the Company of Men and not, like, Convert to Mormonism, Heathens!, I honestly don't care.


I. Smoking isn't good for you, but it's really hot

I have never seen a photo shoot of good-looking person smoking and not thought it made them hotter. Seriously. I'm not actually advocating smoking, I'm just saying it looks fucking cool in photographs. In real life, it's a turn-off. I always feel like I have to make a ton of qualifications whenever I talk about my pro-smoking campaign because I know I sound like a weirdo going, "But smoking is hot!"

II. He seems too old to be modeling Gap clothes, but this is the hottest ad campaign I've ever seen
Dude. Dude. This is like the greatest set of ads in the history of the world.

III. His entourage is made up of dogs
I don't know what this is about. I assume those aren't all his dogs, I just enjoy people who like dogs.

IV. Miscellaneous hotness


Aaron Eckhart is way too adorable and hot. In further conclusion:


Sources of information: Google searches, aaron-eckhart.net, and aaron_daily

Clearly, I can put the things I've learned in school to good use even though that may have been the stupidest thing I've ever posted. I think I'm going to go add 'turning picspams into legal arguments' to my resume and get a job with some awesome lawyer who appreciates my thinking.
Tags: aaron fucking eckhart, film: the dark knight, i put my law-talking studies to no use, picspams
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