wood detective (cromulent) wrote,
wood detective
cromulent

Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?




The faces of these extras from The Impossible are the greatest faces in cinematic history. I feel you, random extras, because in between trying not to be shamelessly manipulated into crying and mulling the spiritual or what-have-you implications of finding tsunami-ravaged Ewan McGregor quite good-looking (the tsunami took his shirt), I was making these faces throughout the entirety of The Impossible. These people are reacting to two ladies suddenly vomiting blood and seaweed in unison and they look pretty annoyed by the whole thing (they also look super white). Like, "Jeez, I know we almost all just died in a tsunami, but try to keep your medical problems out of the hospital, I'm trying to rest up and arrange a flight to my non-tsunami wrecked home in England here."

The best part of The Impossible is a hilariously long sequence where the family keeps almost running into each other in the hospital. Like someone will run up a flight of stairs and then just miss someone else running down that flight of stairs. It's like a set-piece straight out of the The Parent Trap. You know, the one with Lindsay Lohan, when the idea of two Lindsay Lohans was super adorable?

I could have loved this movie had it not been about a real disaster and if it wasn't trying to be super important, because it was kind of ridiculous in a way that it is great. Basically, Michael Bay should have directed it. I'm sure if he had directed it there still would have been lots of off-putting shots of Naomi Watt's bruised breasts. Anyway, Naomi Watts is very good at laying on a hospital gurney and looking realistically near-death and Ewan McGregor is very good at being the whitest dude in Thailand who has no shirt and looks way sad, so A+ acting. Everyone else in the theater was like full-on ugly crying, so maybe I'm the asshole.

I saw this movie ages ago (or in February, one or the other), but I am on Spring Break and I am watching a bunch of Ewan McGregor movies for some reason? I re-watched Moulin Rouge last week and then had to watch all his movies. I have not yet gotten desperate enough to re-watch the new Star Wars Trilogy, but I may watch that tomorrow. I was not planning to go out during Spring Break, but now I am super sick so I'm really not planning to go out and Ewan McGregor has made some unfortunate movies. You know what is not one of those unfortunate movies? The Island. That was amazing, like I'm not even kidding that I've watched that dumb movie twice since seeing it yesterday. Michael Bay is clearly one of Hollywood's greatest living auteurs. His movies are all running from helicopters and slight anti-authoritarian nonsense and never-ending car crashes on the L.A. freeway. I don't know why this movie was a huge failure, it had everything! It was even part mistaken identity farce, like I didn't know I wanted that in my Michael Bay movie, but clearly I did. And even if it didn't have everything (but it did), it was super gorgeous. I watched it on blu-ray and it was so pretty and I'm not just talking about Ewan McGregor's face.

Future topics of discussion: how General Hospital is still the best thing on television, American Idol and how Keith Urban is the most precious human being alive, how I might graduate this semester and then what will I do with my life, how one day I listened to Taylor Swift's Trouble twice on a ten-minute drive to campus because it played back-to-back on two different stations and I turned the volume up real loud and how I then realized I lost all my good taste in music ages ago.
Tags: ewan mcgregor, film: the impossible, film: the island
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